Today, my mama (aka butler) is saying a final goodbye to her mama…
They are putting her ashes in the ground…
She was a very special grandma to me…
So today, I’m also saying goodbye.
In the cemetery, even the grass feels holy…
Holding so many painful emotions…
But though I hurt, I know she’s ok…
She has just moved on from one meaning to another.
I used to make her smile…
Sitting on her lap, and keeping her warm…
She would laugh at the ridiculous outfits my butler put on me…
And flick my ears like she was flicking off lint (I really didn’t like that).
When I was with her, I was never afraid…
Fear would break up in little pieces and float away…
Her fingers were like the fingers on the Buddha’s hand…
Stroking in virtue, pulling away vice.
Now she lives among the greens, the browns and absurd blues…
Carrying fistfuls of speckled light in her angel hands…
Sometimes still giving me a nasty eye…
When I get too near the cupboard.
I’ll miss you Grandma,
Annie