Today I’m going to make a confession
I hate cows!
They chomp and they moo and don’t wipe their butts!
Obviously inferior creatures
Can you imagine never learning the squat, drag and wipe method (first thing my mama taught me)
But my butler Jeff, tells me I’m not being fair
He says I need to skip a meadow in their hooves before judging them
So, today I’m going to try to understand
I’m going to start with chomping grass (refer to video)
Mmmm, this grass isn’t so bad
It’s kind of like a mixture of lettuce and earth
With a just a slight hint of possum
And some other seasoning (probably dog poop) that I can’t put my paw on
Then I tried to moo (I couldn’t moo) and not wipe my butt, and realized that this judgment of cows is only causing me distress
Aren’t we both born of the same being?
Wow, I’m hating half my life away
Maybe, my great, great, great, grand puppster was a cow!
This judgment is making me shorter than I already am
It’s like a slow torture wheel
Still, I just can’t bring myself to saying that I like cows
But, I’m working on it
Try not judging today,
Big lick
Annie